How to Approach a Woman

It's amazing how clueless we men are at times when it comes to approaching a woman. Although I'm sometimes regarded as an expert in this area because of my many years in the Singles social networking field, I too have a lot to learn. Yet I've also learned a lot, too. So I thought it might make sense to share some ideas with you.

1. Become familiar with environment and what's appropriate. For example, at a bar or singles party, it's often not appropriate to walk up to a woman and ask her to dance, at least, not immediately. You need to establish a connection first. You need to talk to her for a while and let her get to know you. Be especially caution about asking a woman to dance in such a situation if the music is slow and romantic. Exception: if the music is fast and the lady is standing near the dance floor and moving to music, that's a clear signal she wants to dance and will more than likely say "yes."

At a ballroom, on the other hand, the group norm is entirely different. It is quite normal and acceptable to walk over to a woman and ask her to dance without engaging her in conversation first. At a ballroom, nearly always the answer is "yes" or "I'm sorry I don't know how to do rumba well -- is that OK?" It doesn't matter much if the music is fast or slow an romantic tune. The focus at a ballroom is on moving together as one to beautiful music, not on hooking up. Although a ballroom it is a great place to find a girlfriend, the action doesn't usually happen quickly. Because you both love dancing and repeatedly see each other at the ballroom, you already share something in common and one things can easily lead to another -- in time.

2. Toasting and clinking glasses. At a place where drinks are served, toasting and clinking glasses with no immediate follow-up conversation can be effective. Try walking about when you first get your drink and offer a toast to everyone with a big smile. "Happy Friday!" for example. Just keep walking and toasting. Don't expect response immediately. But usually, you'll see a nice smile. As you do this, focus on bringing joy to others rather than on trying to score.

Later when you return you will be remembered as that friendly, confident guy. Be careful, though, of trying this if it doesn't feel right to you. If you are shy, the best time to do this is when you are a regular at some place and you really do feel confident and comfortable. If you force it, you won't feel comfortable and others won't respond that well.

3. "Hitting on Women." (to come -- check back for details)